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The Astounding Adventures of Fluttershy! by DaringDashie The Astounding Adventures of Fluttershy! by DaringDashie
So it's time for my semi traditional, just before nightmare night comic featuring Daring Do cosplaying ponies (yes, doing something twice now qualifies it as tradition!)



This comic was based on a comment by ~tamalesyatole :icontamalesyatole: and the backgrounds of panel 1 & 5 were mashed up from



And now for something completely different!

:icondashlickplz:
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:iconpzychogamer:
So cute!


Pros:

Wonderfully drawn characters and environment portray the artist's style while still remaining true to the show. The facial expressions capture the characters' emotions perfectly. The comic book-style narration is easy to read and adds to the feeling of action and adventure. It is very easy to understand and follow the plot of the comic. I like how Rainbow Dash was depicted as the dragon. The diction of Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy stays true to their characters.


Cons:

I couldn't initially find any problems, so I was forced to be nitpicky. "Treck" should be "Trek", and for extreme nitpicky-ness, a semicolon should be used in place of the comma between "It's not real" and "it's just a game...".



Conclusion:

An original, wonderfully drawn comic with accurately-depicted emotions and speech that remains true to the characters. The only cons were the little spelling/grammar errors. The picture has an overall nice, clean, finished look. This certainly made me laugh. Fluttershy is so cute /)^3^(\
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The Artist thought this was FAIR
27 out of 33 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconh2g2guy:
Alrighty. I haven't written a critique in AGES, but I really wanted to give my two cents on this one, so bear with me here. Also, some of what I'm going to say here may be a bit irrelevant if you're changing gears to a slightly stylized way of drawing ponies, so take those bits with a grain of salt. Without further ado...

Vision: Right off the bat, we know that Fluttershy is in over her head, and that tone is carried through the whole comic. With the narrative (and antagonist) both being RD, we see a very similar, yet very appropriate scenario. Brilliantly done.

Originality: This is very clever, and rather new. Even the premise subverts our expectations of the characters; I would have expected RD to be the type of filly to want to play as the hero! Then again, as bad as Fluttershy is at being the hero, she'd probably be worse as the villain... perhaps Dash was right, after all!

Technique: Sorry, I'm going to have to be a bit nitpicky here, primarily because I've been following you for so long.

Let me first say that it's hard for me to give this a 2.5 in technique, because so much IS done technically well. Even going from an obtuse to an acute angle in the narration box in the third panel demonstrates great care and attention to detail in the technical execution.

The reason for the unusual score is primarily because of a few gripes I have with the anatomy here. You seem to have solved your 'small head syndrome' that had been plaguing you for a few months, but now I feel like Fluttershy is really, really skinny in the first four panels. Also, her back legs in the first panel feel very far apart; I see the pose you were going for, but I would have pulled her far back leg further back to really sell it.

You also seem to be rounding the top of your snouts a LOT more than usual. This might be a stylistic choice on your part, but either way it feels a bit weird to me. If you're still going for complete show accuracy, I'd recommend looking into that; if not, we might just have to agree to disagree there xD

Finally, I want to comment on your distinction between fillies and mares. You did an excellent job in scaling down the necessary bits, but I was still a bit confused as to the proportions. I think what threw me off is that fillies' eyes are very close to perfect circles, while you drew them a bit more like a fully grown pony's eyes.

I'm saying all this, and going into such detail, because you've made a number of comics with a lot more accuracy in the past. Take a look back at your own, drawn poses in "Catch Me If You Can", for example. Even though Dash's mouth in the first panel really threw me off when I was critiquing it, the snout is simply perfect, and the rest of the body is brilliant, as well. Same for Spitfire in the same panel. "The Academy Record" is also a great example of excellent anatomy (I still get feels every time I look at that one).

I'm gonna stop talking about technique now and move on, because oh heavens I'm at 564 words and I haven't even gotten to Impact yet.

Impact: Initially this section was going to have 4-4.5 stars from me, because while there wasn't anything at all negative about the impact this had on me, nothing 'blew my mind' as dA's help asks. And then I took a closer look at Rainbow Dragon.

That, right there, is brilliance.

I am wholly convinced that that is exactly what Rainbow Dash would look like, had she been an MLP dragon. You can still see the challenge in her eye, and while the character design is ultimately a recolor of the dragon we saw in the show, the way you applied Dash's difficult color scheme is perfect. And as little impact as this may have on the work as a whole, it made me think. That's enough for me to give you the 5 stars!

---

Let me conclude with this. You're an excellent artist -- miles above myself, and with a talent for storytelling, too. Your comics are always filled with expressive emotion, great laughs (or, rarely, great tears), and faithfulness to MLP canon. I think -- no offence -- that you've plateaued a bit in the show-quality-art area, though. I'm trying to serve as a little nudge that catalyzes more excellent improvement, as I've seen you do before.

Let me be clear: I'm not saying that you should go back to vectoring screenshots -- your comics rapidly became way more expressive as soon as you started sketching your own poses. Nor am I saying that you should go crazy and spend hours nitpicking every little thing. If I were you, I'd just look over some screenshots, maybe watch a handful of episodes again, if you haven't recently. Maybe do a bit more study of anatomy; it can't hurt to brush up now and then. If you want to do a practice trace of parts of a screenshot, just to see where you might be deviating, that might help, too.

All that being said, I'm just one voice. I'm a quite happy voice, too; it's not like anything I've critiqued will stop me from eagerly awaiting each and every one of your newest comics. If these are stylistic changes, and you're happy with them, that's excellent; don't mind me. Just thought I'd put my two cents in anyway xD

As always, thanks for the laugh! Looking forward to your future works!

(I think there was some truth in your comment when you said, "You aaaaaalways write long comments :P". At least I didn't break 1000 words!)
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:iconcorperalking:
corperalking Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014  New member
How DO you put those pictures in?
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:iconcorperalking:
corperalking Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014  New member
:Imgdashlickplz:
Reply
:icondaringdashie:
DaringDashie Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Almost right. Replace "Img" with "icon" in what you typed and you've got it. Also note you can use the preview button to check before you post something for real! :)
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:iconcorperalking:
corperalking Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2014  New member
Thanks a bundle!

:icondashlickplz:
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:iconpegasister1029:
Pegasister1029 Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
:iconflutterbitchplz: Is that a dragon? I don't do dragons. I'm going home.
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:icondragontamer360:
DragonTamer360 Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
awwwwwwwww *tears of happiness and joy and on how cute this is and how it brings back memorys*
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:iconkingdragon7:
kingdragon7 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
WTF
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:iconrainbowcrash147258:
RainbowCrash147258 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yaaaay!!!!

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:iconumsauthorlava:
UMSAuthorLava Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Somehow, I can picture Fluttershy getting her key after proving her kindness to dragons - you know, like...proving herself friend to all creatures.
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:iconzappo210:
zappo210 Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014
it's a prophecy for episode 11!
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